Monday, February 18, 2008

Darling Darla....

How are you, dear?? I miss you so much. It’s been a long time since I haven't seen your face. Things kept changing; my dad Mr. Murdock passed away just a couple of days ago. You know how much my dad loves me, how much he cares for me; he is the one who raise me up, the one and only for me (hope you understand). I couldn't understand why things could happen like this, i don't. Why misfortune always lead my way... from the beginning. I was born out of a mistake. Just a mistake - need no explanation.

Wish you were here to help me and guide me when I'm down. Wish I had seen your face the day my dad got murdered. I was spellbound when people talk to me, I was like a dumb statue. I could smell the cigar of my dad's murderer, the smell I was very familiar with. I could imagine the face of the cruel creature. I couldn't control myself and might have hurt some of the people around me, I'm ashamed, I'm sorry...but couldn't control. Things would not happen like that, if you were with me. You and Dad love me the equal weight, which I couldn't shoulder.

If I could get another chance

Another walk, another dance with him

I’d play a song that would never, ever end

How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

I still remember the day I met you. The day I saw the most beautiful face. You and I were on the same road, it was raining so hard and you were shivering with cold. I gave you my coat and drop you home. You were really shy; I could tell that from your face. The way you talk to me, the way you smile at me, and laugh at my jokes. The kiss that I got on my right cheek....huizz.. I was on top of the world. I think you couldn't have slept that night, and me either.

I come and visited you often, please do understand me because I couldn't live without seeing your face. It was a breezing cold Friday afternoon and we were out together. I need to tell you something. It was the hardest word that I've ever spoke. I held you in my arms, hold you tight and whispered "I love you". I could feel that your heart skip a beat, what you didn't know was that, mine too.

Days grew older, time passes by. I love to hang out with you and make you happy. You brighten my life. It was all my fault, Darla... all my fault. I was badly drunk, but I don't want you to know it and drive you home. I heard you saying "Slow down... Joe, slow down". But I didn't obey you and do a 100. Then I hear a loud crash. The second thing I hear after the crash was you crying in pain, my face was red-blood painted. I look at you and you whispered, "Goodbye.....Joey". And that voice echoed in my head till the fading light of the day. I tried to reach you, but couldn't. How my heart broke. I couldn't remember after that.

When I woke up, I was surrounded by four white walls. I was dressed all in white, wrapped all in white, from head to toe. Besides me stand doctors and nurses. I look for you, but you were nowhere. I cried and cried. I asked everybody around me, I shouted, "Where's Darla??? Is she alright????" Nobody answered me. There was a quiet moment. Then, I saw your mother, coming towards me, with tears falling from her eyes saying you were no more. That was the moment, the worst moment ever in my whole life. I stand up straight, doing nothing and felt dizzy, I fainted. I was wrapped in a blanket when I woke up. Held tight to my bed. Darla, where are you?? Will you lay with me; hold me tight in your arms?

Why?? This would have never happened. It's all my fault, Darla, please forgive me. I wondered how things could get so depressed. How things can change. You're lying cold somewhere six feet under waiting for your Resurrection - the wake for young souls. Your voices, your faces kept playing like a film without sound. I keep looking for you, expecting to see you in every crowded place. You're nowhere Darla. I'm dying, crimson regret..... I'm crying, please come back.

Darla, I never loved anyone, as much as I loved you. I hope you will be always there for me. I'll be there for you. I'm sitting here in your grave, begging you to forgive me. I pray to the Lord above to forgive me for all my sins. If you both looked down from heaven, you'll see I'm lying beside you. Darla, it’s all my fault, I'm crying my heart out, eyes are never dry, please do forgive. I love you...

Always,

Joey

2 comments:

sloppy said...

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Sangi said...

naaaaaaaaaaaaa