Saturday, December 26, 2009

Random thoughts

Honky Tonk

If you’ve taken a day out in any metro cities, you’ll be surprised and feel ‘insulted’ from ∞ motor vehicles that runs here and there to get ‘somewhere-there’ first and fast. And needless to mention, everyday in India is “All-India International Honking Festival” with imaginary banners and posters around. You can’t even speak a single sentence without a horn beeping somewhere. Here you go.. Beepp beeeeppp.. there you go….. beepp beeeppp…..

Are you tired and sick of all the calm and peace conversations that you had being interrupted by massive horning? Do you ever wish there exist a silent horn? Think again…. that won’t happen.

You know, in every culture, society, family; the younger members of the society are guided by the elders. And they follow every steps and turns of the elders. Take a family for example, a father guides his son. Tell him what to do and the nots. Moms guide their daughters; tell them exactly the Do’s and Don’ts. In this way, they build a happy and integrated family.

Now back to the engines. The same formulas and solutions are applied for a happy traffic - “The big one guide the small one”. Take a look at these pictures:

On the back of every bigger vehicle, you’ll see that sign, that tempting and inspiring sign that reads – “Horn Please” or “Blow Horn” or whatever. We know, a son will say “Yayyy” if his dad told him to. Likewise, if a bigger vehicle tells the smaller one or whoever is following it to blow some horn, they will do it, following their ‘elders’ commands.

You know now who exactly is behind this ‘honky-tonking’ festival! Don’t blame the small and cute nano that runs passes you blowing horn all the way. Don’t blame the 1954 rusted Bajaj chetak scooter that gets it horn stuck. It’s the heavy motor vehicles that are to blame. Erase them all ‘horn please’ and ‘blow horn’ sign off them, and you’ll be in peace.

Or is it that we Indians are just horny? :-)


P’s and V’s (Not vulgarity, but thoughts running spree. And the names used in the articles, even based on real people are entirely fictional. Permissions are not obtained.)

A friend told me lately that we, our generation is going to meet a crisis one day – Identity Crisis. Yes, one day a man that you used to know will be a woman. Your ex-girlfriend will stand just next to you in a Men’s washroom and you’ll never know.

Advancements in technologies and surgical equipments led to the transformation of genders. Women who are trapped inside a man’s body. Men who feel like a woman. Their day of ‘live-reincarnation’ is coming. Transgender – and sadly that is happening!

Transgenders mostly have genital surgeries. But still they cannot be fully transformed. A man will always have his wee wee and a woman her cha cha.

Transsexuals have also existed since the beginning of time. Transgender and transsexual – there’s a difference. (Read it somewhere else) You’ll be really confused to call a transsexual person a brother or a sister.

There will be a time when you or your children get really confused in front of the toilet, as to which door exactly should you/they open. Look at a typical toilet door sign –

We see two figures there. In ancient times, men wear pants, women wear skirts. That’s how they define men and women. So, one figure (with the skirt) stands for women and the other for men. Today, men wear short skirts and bras. Women wear pants and boxer shorts. Cross-dressing, as we call it. That door-sign will be out of date soon starting now.

For eg. Your name is Sandman Kima and you are a man. In your train ticket your name, age and sex will be entered as :

1. Sandman Kima 37 M

Where 37 stands for your age and M for Male. And if Sandman Kima is a transsexual, he feels like a woman trapped inside a man’s body but doesn’t have a sex change. He’ll be entered as a Male passenger, which he will not like and be very angry. He’ll sit on a rainbow and write a poem about how he was ‘insulted and molested’ in the train and post it on his blog.

To solve all these troubles and problems. There’s one solution. To identity us human beings as just “Penises” and “Vaginas”. Simple!!

A man-woman transgender still has his penis, a woman-man transgender still has her vagina. It’s their assigned sex and biologically programmed genitals. They cannot be changed until 2012.

From now on, Male will be Penis, and Female will be Vagina. And you or your children will not be confused if the toilet door-sign is updated to something like this –

And Sandman Kima and all others will be very happy if they are entered in the train tickets as :

1. Sandman Kima 37 Penis

2. Andy 25 Penis

3. Mimi Hrahsel 16 Vagina

4. Amos 38 Penis

5. Jerusha 13 Vagina

Take a look at these sentences. The P’s and V’s are really perfect.

“Now, let us call upon our Chief Guest Penis Lalengzuala to deliver a short speech.”

“The Youth Group of SRRC donated 50 units of blood today at Civil Hospital, Aizawl. The donors were 35 Penises and 15 Vaginas.”

“Vagina India is crowned Vagina of the Universe 2009”

Hahahaha…. See you around next year.

That’s all folks, Happy New Year.

With much love and blessings for 2010,

Joseph, Penis.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Dairial chang lo se….

(Update tur vang e mai, DMZP Golden Jubilee Souvenir a article ka thawh ve hi kan dah mai ange. Pawi em lovang chu :) )

Kan ti nek nek a, thing delh loh lung delh loh na na na chu ti hian kan lo thanglian chho ve a. Sikul uniform hak hun lai kan han kal pelh meuh chuan engtin tin emaw Delhi tlang chu kan chuang chhuak ve ta reng mai. Delhi tlang hi kan ti ve tehchhen a, tlang pakhatmah kan la hmu lo reng reng, speed breaker te hi ka tlang hmuh san pawl te chu an ni mai a. A lo lum nasa mai a, haw leh mai teh pawh a chakawm thin rum rum mai. Sum leh pai neih zawng zawngin hmasawn tuma rawn chhuk ve kha kan ni miau a, han haw leh rik-ngawt lah chu a 'man' lo ang reng bawk si. Kan 'Switzerland of the East' ah khi chuan awm ta ila, thianpa Maia te pawh Durtlang bawngek rap pherh ve mai mai tur kha an ni a, hma chu kan sawn ta phawt. Durtlang bawngek ai chuan Delhi bawngek chu a ch.k deuh alawm le!!

Delhi a lehkha zir tura chhuk thar emaw, eng eng emaw ti tura awm thar hrim hrim chu heta awm sa ten duat tak maiin a saptawng takin 'fresher' tiin min han vuah sak a. Keini ang mi mawl leh krismas la hmang tlem tan chuan 'fresher' hming han put ringawt pawh kha Aizawl lama thiante intihtheih khumna atana tha fahran mai a lo ni. A then chu nu leh pa ten an rawn kal pui a, a then chu an u te, an cousin te leh thiante etc, a then chu mahni in kan rawn chhuk tawl a, heti lama thian tha te engkima kan pur thin te kha an va lo fel thin tak em!

Mi tihloh dan pawh a ni lo tiin in chu kan han luah ve rawih a. Vai tawng thiam bawk si lo, sap tawng lah rem khawm chawp tak meuh meuha phuh chhuak thin tan chuan beidawn rum rum chang a tam duh khawp mai. Zikpuii pa 'CC Coy. No. 27' thawnthu a Ralkapzauva dinhmun nena in tehkhin chuan keini chu nep te hi a lo ni thin. Zirlai tan chuan engkim hi thil thar vek a ni a, lehkha zir mai bakah sawi tham si loh thil zir tur hi a lo tam khawp mai. In-a han awm chuan, class kal bak tih tur dang vak awm hek lo, a lum thin bawk si. Han leng chhuak dawn ila, pawisa a lo ngai zel bawk si. Mi tih dan ang bawkin, zan te chu kan han meng rei ve vak a, zing lamah hma taka thawh a, insawizawi aiin, tlai tawkah, zawi sa in kan han tho chhap chhap a. Ei rawng te pawh phuai deuh neih nuaih chuan kan han bawl ve bawk a. A ei lam erawh kan ei hnem thei narawh e.

Eirawng bawl bawl kha a ninawm thin a, zanah a tuka eitur nen kan han chhum teuh zel mai a. Bawnghnute te kha kan dah khal mai a, chhuang lum tawh lem chuang lo in, a keih in kan keih thin. Khawlai chaw han ei mai thin lah hian pum lamin a lo mil vak thin si lo a, bathroom hi room zawng zawnga room pawimawh ber a lo ni tih kan pawm thlap.

Lunglen mawlh mai hi. In lung a leng ve theuh thin awm e, mahse Aizawl lam aiin helamah hi chuan lung len a har zawkin ka hria!! Khaw lum hian lunglen te hi a hnawt tiau vek a, bakah, 'man' leh 'man' in melh sen rum reng hi chuan lunglen te pawh hi a lo har thin a ni. Verandah ah han thu chhuak ila, Reiek tlang thlir tur awm lo, vai hlir vai hlir kan hmu a, thli fim te chu khawi lam, khawi khawi lai atangin thli uih a rawn thaw leh huk thin.

Khawvela vai tamna ber ram, kawtthler pakhat vai lo awm zawng zawng hian kan hmingin min lo ko zel sela, kan eih hlum thak thei ang tih tur khawpa tamna ah chuan a khat tawkin, kan hmel an pui deuh kan han hmu leh nulh zel a, thla te pawh a muang ve sawt zel. Khami kha mizo a ni emaw ni lo emaw, kan hmel anpui a nihna hrim hrim kha a thlamuan thlak ve a.

Maipawl tlak hmeha dul ti kiar ve mai mai tur khan car nalh tak tak leh bike nalh tak tak kan han hmuh meuh chuan, miin min ngaisang lo mahse, kan in dah sang vah tawh. Kan veng lamah kan haw leh mah ila, 'phaia awm' kha kan ni miau tawh a, induh vah tawh tur. A hrim hrimin, roti han ei te pawh a changkang deuh alawm le, thil changkang ngaina tih takah. Maipawl han tih ngawt ai chuan Roti han ti puam talh talh pawh, kan tribal hmui hian a phun rem thiam ve nuap nuap khawp mai.

Thil engkim, kan vawikhat tihna zel a nih avangin chet chhiat chang lah a tam. Vawikhat chu kan vaitawng bungraw neih zawng zawng ‘bari bara vai mawng khak’ leh kut zaizir tlem nen kan han bazaar ve tehreng a. Hmarcha lei kan duh ve si, kan duh zat leh kan duh chi kan sawi thiam ta si lo. Vai ram awm tirh nen kan dawih dui mai bawk si a, duhlo chung chungin hmarcha ro te chu polythene lianpui khat tlat in kan lei ta a. Kum khat hnuah pawh a chanve pawh a la zawh loh avangin paih an ni ta.

Heti zat hi mizo an lo awm ang tih kan rin loh tawh hnuah, inkhawmna te pawh bial te te in an lo inthen ve leh zel a. Tumkhat chu kan bial inkhawmnaah kan inkhawm ve hmasak ber tum hian kan va kal ve a, bo hrep hnuah kan thleng ve hram. Kan va thleng chu kan tlai tawh tih hriat takin thutna a lo khat deuh thap tawh a, midang lah khan mikhual kan nih vang nge, min lo chhawn lo angreng bawk si. A thutna awl ber lam chu kan pan phei ve ta thuai a.

Chutia thutna awl bera nuam ti taka kan thut lai chuan kan ngaih a tha ta tlat lo mai a, midang zawng chu kan hma zawnah leh kan sir lehlam lehlamah an thu kual thap mai a, mi thar nih bawk nen, thianpa Maia’n “Sef, kan thutdan chu van nice lo ve, face to face a thut reng te chu a..” tiin min rawn hrilh ru a. Kei chuan chutia a rawn sawi veleh chuan ka hrechhuak thut a, ka phone ah chuan call dawng ang takin ka hmet nuap nuap a, ka chhuahsan daih a. A hnu lawkah ani pawh a rawn chhuak ve leh mai bawk a. Kan thutna kha tu dang thutna tur ni lo in, inkhawm kaihruaitu leh tantu tur thutna a nih vang zawk a ni.

Future tih bright mai pawh tum lo a, a tlet a tlet tir vet vet tum nen chuan thil chu a in mil chho thei ta lo viau mai. Tunah chuan kan thiante nena engmah ngaihtuah lem lo a ‘mihur’ tuihleuh zir mai mai te kha a ngaihawm zia kan hrechhuak rum rum mai a ni. Vairam chu fimkhur a ngai a, thil ruk hrat leh misual chi hrang hrang an tam lutuk ti a, a hre zawk ten min hrilh min hrilh thin kha kan han vawng thin mai mai khawp a. Verandah a dahchhuah lek te pawh kha min rawn hau palh ang a, min rawn tibuai thut palh ang a, ti chung reng khan hun kan hmang a. Zan mut dawnah nise a kalh theih zawng zawng kha chu kan han kalh vek zel mai a. Him chu a lo him nge nge e!

Kawng hriat nan ti a, bus a han chuan te lah hian mi haihawt tan chuan tih chi a ni lem chuang lo. Kal lam kawng hi chu han hre ve viau tawh mah ila, haw lam an nih leh chiah a let zawnga kan han tlan chiah hi kan bo chu a ni zui leh mai a. Hmun a inang hlawm si, chhukna tur diktak aia stand hnih vela hmaa han chhuk zauh zauh chang lah a tam. Ke bawkin kal leh a ngai thin.

Chaw ei a in sawm te hi tih mai mai a lo ni lo zel a. Veng hla deuha chaw ei dawn phei hi chuan hma lama haw theih ngei hi a lo tha ber. Chuti lo zawng kawng sira mut zai kan rel thlu tak tak mai ang tih te pawh a hlauhawm e. Delhi Mizo Inkhawm-a kan inkhawm ve hmasak ber tuma a hmasa bera kan thut te kha kan tan chuan inzirna tha tak a ni, a hnu inkhawmah khawiah pawh thu ila a harsa ber kan ti hmasa ber tawh tho a, a zahthlak loh vek. Thil chi hrang hrang kan tawn leh kan hriat te hi sawi vek dawn chuan ho tak tak te a tam dawn si a, sawi vek sen pawh a ni lo e.

Engpawhnise, middle school vela kan SS bu-a kan hmuh thin milem ropui leh maksak deuh deuh te awmna hmuna han awm meuh chuan hma chu sawn turah in ngai ila. Taj Mahal te pawh kan ngaih ang em em chuan a lo lian lo tih te leh pheikhawk uih rim a nasat zia te, Rajasthan chu thlaler vaivut vek a ni bik lo tih te hi a hun laiah let leh thei ila thian te han hrilh ka chak ngawt mai.

Hun te a lo kal ve zel a, tunah chuan a hmaa kan buai ang thin em em chuan kan buai tawh lem lo e. Hun hlimawm tak tak kan tawng zel a, engkim hi zirlai a ni tih hi sawi nawn leh teh ang. Hun harsa leh khirh tak tak kan tawh chang pawhin hlim taka nuih chhuah leh theih hi a lo va hlu thin tak em! Heng hun kal tawh zawng zawng leh kan tawn hriat te hi dairial chang lul suh se…