Friday, November 21, 2008
“And I'm gonna love you... like nobody loves you.... BEEP BEEP.....BEEP". Damn it, the battery just went out from a blue colored i-pod with white edges. All I could see is continuous blinking of a battery-like figure on the screen. There is no power since the last 5 hours, long enough for a sloth to cross the world. The night was dark and unruffled. No winds blowing from the west, no dogs barking, and deep stillness filled the 21st night of November.
I’ve been trying to sleep but even counting sheep would not help. Extreme repentance occupied my refractory mind. Tomorrow, just a few hours away, a new baby will be born to a grass-widow mother, whose husband is at far and away place. A husband who is a recreant and that is me. Every time I think back of the mistake I’ve done, I started my waterworks from my tear-duct, warming my cold pale cheeks. No one sees me but a solitary burning candle standing on the wooden table beside my bed.
It was on a cold night like this that I’ve made the biggest mistake in my life. A night I was blessed with all the beverages which makes my mind and thoughts run spree. I wasn’t aware of the consequences that could come, and I never knew it will.
Counting the months back, on a beautiful night in March, we were celebrating the birthday of a friend who just bid farewell to his teenage. It was a cold night as the winter is fading and summer is yet to come. Things were going so well, and I was one of the happiest guys that night being with my girl. Drinking, dancing were the only thing we could do.
After hours of consuming “liquid-snake”, and dancing with all moves, I exhausted and sleep. Sleeping like dead, can’t control myself to open my eyes just a bit more. I feel the world around me moving spiral, and my head is just a heavy lump on my jaded body.
After midnight, time ticks again from the least. I slightly opened my eyes as I was much sober than before, but dizzy as before. I saw her, sleeping next to me, folding her arms around me and her body pressed to mine. I was so tempted to do such evil things but keep controlling myself.
No man can hold long from the temptation and the well-off situation led the warm-blooded teenager who calls himself a ‘man’ into lechery and to coitus.
Hours turns into days, days turns into weeks. Not so long I got a call from her and she told me that she is gravid. I was shocked, and amazed. My heart pounded on my chest as if it wanted to come out. How can a baby be conceived with just one accident? What will I do? Wish I could hold longer from the temptation that I had some months ago.
The well-off situation that I had turns into a tragic situation. I cried and cried, not knowing what to do. Are we telling our parents first, or should we not tell them? If we tell them, we know they will be very gentle and good to us. But the hardest part is to tell them, which clearly proves we aren’t brave enough for what we’ve done.
Abortion? It needs a lot of money and I’m impecunious, and after all I don’t want her to have an abortion. She talks to me often, she couldn’t sleep at nights, and she doesn’t eat. I told her to eat healthy; I visit her regularly as she stays in a hostel far away from mine. I know it will be hard for her, and the same goes for me. If I marry her, I’m still a student and I’m not prepared. Why was I so insouciant?
We told our best friends about it. All they could imply is to tell it to our parents. I pray and pray begging for answers. Why am I so afraid? Am I a girl or something? Many people had faced the same situation like me before, some told their parents, some get married, some did abortions, and some hate each other so much that they don’t talk to each other ever again. But we aren’t like them; we like and love each other. The main reason is that we aren’t brave enough to admit what we did.
Living with all the fret and fuss makes us inhuman. We can’t get along with friends, we become short tempered. Late one night I think to myself and the best for us is to tell our parents what happened. So, I called my parents late in the night and told them about the situation. At first they were amazed and they can’t believe it happened to me.
But they are the only ones that could help us in our situation. They knew all I need is support and told me not to worry. I felt really relieved.
Things aren’t always going the way we wanted to be. Sangi’s (that’s her name if you’re wondering) parents want her to get an abortion since she was so young and no one will ever know and go on with her studies. But this wasn’t the way we wanted and my families are fully behind me. The fetus inside her wanted to be a baby. And the baby wanted to have a birthday.
So we need to part. From that day onward, I wasn’t allowed to talk to her anymore and her parent moved her into a far away place and they never told me where she is. Since then, I knew nothing about her and I am getting fully attached to my books until last night I got a mail from her.
She told me that things are going well. And that she’s going to have a baby girl and docs have told her that she’ll deliver it on 22nd November. She didn’t mention where she is and what she is doing, but she misses me. I am happy and sad the equal weight. Happy that she’s going to have her baby safe and sound. Sad that I will never be able to see her again and things cannot be turned back. I miss her so much; I’d give anything to see her once more.
Every mystery has a solution and one day I will find a way to meet her. One day I’ll be singing and dancing with her and my baby.
The ticking of the clock comes louder as I look into the wall where a gold rimed coffee colored clock is hanging. Its already 5 past 4. I could hear the birds chirping and singing happily in the morning as if they sing “Sleep tight Hminga, sleep tight…you are going to be a father”. And yes, I am going to be a father and I’m going to have a cute little baby daughter. And next year, on a night like this, you’ll be here with me with your mom, I promise.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Football, this is how I understand. It starts with a ball which is round, and there are two teams, each trying to win. The objective is to kick the ball into the opposite team’s net, scoring a goal. At the end of 90 minutes, the team with the most goals wins.
I heard about some foul moves in this game. One is the 'hand', it when you touch the ball with your hand and you're not the goalkeeper. The other is 'offside'. I hear people shout out a lot 'offside..offside' but then I never knew exactly what that 'offside' means. Is it that when you kick a ball so hard to your opponent? Is it when you try to kick the ball and you missed it? Not at all. It goes something like- you can’t pass the ball the a member of your team if you’re past the halfway line and there’s no defender between the player you’re passing to and the goalkeeper. Frankly speaking, I knew this only when my younger brother told me when I was in XI standard! LOL
Out of bounds, corner kicks, you all know about it. I knew very well about this corner thing, and when we went to a far away village up North in Mizoram. All the football players, young and matured call this foul-move as "Gaw-nar". What is "gaw-nar" anyway? I asked one of them, and he told me. It was the same as "corner", just that we say it in different way.
Come into topic. Well, I use to play football as a kid. But not with a real football, but with some small balls or wraped up polythene bags with old cloths. And we have a rule, no out of bounds, no corners, no hand and we play it on motor roads. The biggest kid is always the captain and he make the rules, if he say a goal is not a goal, its not a goal. If the time is up and he say we still have 2 minutes, then we have 2 minutes more.
World Cup 1994 was the first time I ever watch football in my life. I am a
When we grew bigger, my younger brother play it much more than me and eventually dad bought him a football and a ball boot. I started to fly away from the game as Mortal Kombat was much much more interesting than football. Delta Force, I know all the codes for unlimited ammo, life and invisibility when I didn't know what a yellow card means. Being the only brother he had, my bro always push me to play with him. Sometimes, I play with him and sometimes I don't. If I don't, he'll play it near me by himself disturbing me from destroying Shinook all of the time.
At 7th standard, I was the House leader for St. Matthew at Mary Mount. Football was one of the biggest competition between the houses, and we were preparing hard for it. For the first time, bought myself a ball boot. :-) and I was the captain for our team. We tried hard to select good players from the house, some wanted themselves to play so much that they start saying bad skills about other players. Some even shouted at me on how I select the players that I don't know who play the game well. After much controversies, the big day came. We were all set to play at the great AR Ground (The biggest stadium we've ever had). I was the defender and next to me stand a nerd looking guy, wearing thick black framed glasses Fela. The game started and I was talking to Fela that it's been really great for us to play in such a game. Right after the start I hear the crowd shouting in joy. The other teams had already score a goal on our side.
I saw my teammates rushing towards me, shouting in anger. Why did you do that for? Why didn't you stop that guy? Why did you miss that? I was so shy that I move out of the field silently. That's the first and the last time I ever wear a ball boot. From that day, I stopped playing. I am so ashamed that I not only let my team down, but the whole house. And I am so sorry to hear that our team loses the match.
Come to think of it, I got more interested in playing computer games than any other during those days. You know, I use to play a lot badminton and we use to have small tourneys in our locality. I love the game very much until I broke my racquet! Basketball, we use to play a lot in the evenings but the most thing I hate is that it always bounce back right on my nose. So, all I got with me is MK4 again! Exchanging game cds were very easy and playing Hercules never break my nose.
I love to watch football. Football is a king! Lets look into Canada, Toronto, Ontario – with such a multicultural city… often you can find Football to be a more regarded sport than many others (Basketball, Baseball, or American Football for example). The Toronto FC stadium is always sold out during games while the Blue Jays are having a hard time selling tickets. This is not happening in
EPL, Champions League, La liga etc. I know they play it, but only watch it when my friends watch them. World Cup, never miss a game. Euro, ditto. Some people don't understand why a mizo boy isn't playing football. Aren't you a mizo? They often ask me. I love to watch, I respect the game, but I don't play it. It may seem odd that a boy like me never play football, but I know there are more guys like me, who'll always support the ones playing. :D As a matter of fact, other boys will think we are 'girls', never playing football. But, we're just above that. I love Vanneihtluanga's saying about this, let me write how he says in mizo "Football khelh hi ka sawisel lo, theihtawp chhuahin a thui thei ang ber thlen zel tum se ka ti. Tuai u awrh chauh ka nia, mi faten football an khelh laia wikipedia ka chhiar hian ram tan ka tangkai zawkin ka hria".
Don't ask me how to tackle your opponent. How to play a defensive game, who will be the best midfielder. Ask me whether your jerseys and shorts have the perfect contrast. Is your name printed on the jerseys are too fancy and I will tell you. :D
Here's a funny song by Belle and Sebastian (About American football) :
I don't want to play football
I don't understand the thrill of the game
I don't want to play football
I don't understand the thrill of the running, catching, throwing
Taking orders from a moron
Grabbing for the sweaty crotches
Getting hit by people I don't know
Sugar, I'd rather play a different sort of game
Sugar, the girls are just as good as boy at playing