Monday, June 20, 2011

Building a Naturist Colony!

(FYI: This is an attempt at humour!)

Recently I've watched a short documentary on naturist community titled “Carina : Ecstasy of Existence ” Watch HERE (NSFW). My first reaction was “WTF! That,... is the place i belong" Well, lets not think about that for now, since its going to cost me a fortune to do that and what if I didn’t understand their language and what if they didn’t accept me?

First and Foremost, before I get into details about this issue, you’re free to check out more videos on vimeo.com with the search keyword “naturist” (all NSFW) and read more about the Naturists here.

My thought

Since, it isn’t possible to join the small naturist colony in Brazil, why not building our own naturist colony here in Mizoram? *Light Bulb* I sure hope you yourself would like to join in. But, don’t be in a hurry. Lets take a moment and concentrate on how are we going to set up such an unique community.

Location?

First thing first, the search for location of setting up the colony will involve a bit of hard work. It has to be some place secret, secret as in secret enough from the NGOs and the press.

The location should be in such a high security level that even the camera lenses and flashes won’t work (we should work on that). Should always be covered with white clouds to protect it from distant photographers with macro lenses and to protect the people from sunburns. Not too cold to avoid goose bumps and not too hot to avoid sweats.

Toilets should be there in every corner. Being a naturist here doesn’t mean disposing your toxic waste everywhere, it isn’t sexy (write that down).

People?

The members should be preferably at the age of 18 yrs and above (Standard legal age for anything). The colony will welcome anybody fat, tall, thin, short, long haired, bald, schlong or schlort who thinks “Reality is Community”. If you’re a human being, feel free to join.

President?

Needless to mention, Me the President. Or anyone who thinks they deserve the position may write an application on why he/she should be the president with a DD of Rs. 5,000/-.

Administration

  • The President is the head of the colony and He/She will have the power to appoint his/her personal aides.

  • The President will be responsible for expelling members in case of unavoidable circumstances.

  • The President will not be responsible for any charges laid upon him unless they’re the opposite sex of the colony. *Naughty*

  • The President can expand his authority to any extend at anytime, anywhere.

Rules

1. The secret spot shouldn’t allow trespassing for mosquitoes, blood sucking bugs, wasps etc. and trespassers will be killed instantly.

2. Male members shouldn’t bend down at any cost.

3. No mobile phones inside the colony, esp. those android phones.

4. Female members shouldn’t show off their acrobatic ability, martial arts or yoga positions.

5. Staring is prohibited.

6. Erection is prohibited.

7. Hugging while having erection will not be tolerated. At the same time it will be relaxed for couples.

8. A simple hand-shaking (Hand, and only the hand) is the only physical contact allowed for regular (single) members.

9. No ass scratching.

10. Sharing isn’t Community.

11. The President and his/her aides will make more rules as we go on.

The main advantage of building a naturist/nudist colony is the low-cost fashion. Poor or rich, you afford it. I hope building a naturist colony will be very sexful. Successful and sexful, they’re the same thing. :-)

9 comments:

Jerusha said...

hahaha Synod in tlaivar in an tawngtai khum nghek ngei ang che u :)

Kim Chinzah said...

"The main advantage of building a naturist/nudist colony is the low-cost fashion" Haha...couldn't help laughing at that one; yup you're right, that'd be a big help to fill the hole in my bank account! :D

Mimihrahsel said...

hahahhahhahhaaha... ka nui thla char char!! Mr. President :D

Mimihrahsel said...

PS: I love your new layout. Chhiar a nuam

Joseph L said...

@Jerusha - Hahaha...kan biru zek zek anga ni mai lawm :-)

@Kim - Come home and lets start the reality revolution. :-)

@Mimi - I lawm zawng hi chu kan hria alawm. :-) Thanks...kawr thar hak tir ve zeuh2 tur, blog pawh hi. :-)

Maisek said...

And I thought I was going to read something about natural objects of a different sort...

Joseph L said...

@Maisek - Expect the unexpected :-)

ku2 said...

Rule 2 hi enforce a pawimawh ber dawn ta nih hi :D

Joseph L said...

@Kuku - Ni eee :-)